literature

The Marauders Watch Harry Potter in 99 Seconds

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Literature Text

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew did not like being bored. Pranksters don't do bored. This explains why the four Marauders decided to ask the Room of Requirement for something interesting to do. Anything interesting, really.

"Hey! What is that?"

"It's a pensieve, I think."

"Huh?"

"It's for viewing memories."

"Oh! Cool!"

Inside the pensieve, they found two teenage boys singing a song that went something like this:

There once was a boy named Harry ("Harry who?")

Destined to be a star

His parents were killed by Voldemort ("Poor boy!")

Who gave him a lightning scar

(Yo, Harry! You're a wizard!)

Harry goes to Hogwarts("YES!")

He meets Ron and Hermione

McGonagall requires he play for Griffindor ("Woo hoo! Best House ever!")

Draco is a daddy's boy ("Heh, heh.")

Quirrell becomes unemployed("Okay…")

The Sorcerer's Stone is destroyed by Dumbledore

Ron breaks his wand

Now Ginny's gone

And Harry's in mortal danger("GASP!" "Sirius!")

Tom Riddle hides his snake inside

His ginormous secret chamber ("Cool!")

Harry blows up Aunt Marge ("Ha ha!")

The dementors come and take charge("Ugh.")

Lupin is a wolf ("Remus!")

The rat's a man ("Peter!")

And now the prisoner is at large("What prisoner?")

They use time travel so they can

Save the prisoner of Azkaban

Who just so happens to be Harry's Godfather

I don't really get it either("Yeah, me neither.")

Harry gets put in the

Triwizard Tournament ("Nice!")

With dragons and mermaids

Oh no!

Edward Cullen gets slayed("Huh?")

He's back ("Who's back?" "You-know-who!")

Harry, Harry, it's getting scary

Voldemort's back ("Told you so." "Shut it, Remus.")

Now you're a revolutionary Harry

Dumbledore, Dumbledore, why is he ignoring your

Constant attempts to contact him? ("How are we supposed to know?")

He is forced to leave the school (NO!")

Umbrage arrives

Draco's a tool ("They really don't like this kid, do they?" "He's probably a slimy Slytherin.")

Kid's break into the Ministry ("Ha ha! Take that, grown-ups!")

Sirius Black is dead as can be ("NO!" "Padfoot!" "They don't have to seem so bloody happy about it!")

Oh

Split your soul ("Gross!")

Seven parts of a whole ("Seven?")

They're horcruxes ("That doesn't sound good…")

It's Dumbledore's end ("Dumbledore can't die!")

There once was a boy named Harry

Who constantly conquered death("Wow!")

But in one final duel between good and bad

He may take his final breath

"Are you kidding?! That's the end? We don't even get to know if he killed You-know-who?"

"Guess not."

"Forget it. It's probably some Slytherin's idea of a prank. People don't survive You-know-who with just a scar, and you are NOT going to die, Padfoot; we won't let you."

THE NEXT DAY:

Albus Dumbledore smiled contentedly as his eyes swept over the students of Hogwarts. Things were not all right, and they wouldn't be until Voldemort was gone, but here, at the school, things were as they should be. Just then, young Mr. Potter came running up to him.

"Professor? Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything, my boy."

"What's a horcrux?"

I don't own Harry Potter.
The video is by Paint, and it's amazing.  You should go watch it.  Stare
I can just imagine Dumbledore's reaction to that last bit.  Problem?
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5 years later

James: I have heard that that song is called Harry Potter in 99 seconds, so let's watch it on this thing called "YouTube"! Also I think Harry Potter is my future son.


(All except Sirius listen to it)


James: So here are some theories of the lyrics, so 1st, I think that prisoner is Sirius Black


Peter: And I think that "the rat is a man" lyric refers to me!


Remus: I think that the "Edward Cullen" guy is actually someone else acted by the same guy that acted hi- Wait, did I just break the 4th wall


Peter and James: